There are thousands of self-help books out there that attempt to sell formulas of happiness. The most common advice includes physical exercises, healthy eating, communication skills, patience, tolerance, ability to forgive and to be forgiven. Some say that only through love and strong relationships, one can find true happiness. Others say that only through self-love, it is possible to be happy. "Money will set you free", some say. "Money will enslave you", others say.
Is all this advice right or wrong? First, let's philosophize about something. Is there an universal formula for happiness?
Ancient Philosophy on Happiness
If you examine different schools of thought throughout history, you will see that each one of them had a different view about happiness. Ancient schools such as Buddhism, Hinduism and Stoicism based their philosophies on the idea that there is a path that leads to happiness – the path of detachment from the material world and acceptance of the facts that you are not able to change. By not desiring things, you do not suffer when you lose them.
These schools of thought theorized that true happiness is attained when you are aligned with the universe, and in order to do so, you need to recognize yourself as a part of the Cosmos. Finding your vocation is finding your role in the dance of the universe.
Epicureans, on the other hand, theorized that you should always seek pleasure and avoid pain, only enduring pain when acting otherwise would cause an even greater pain. Since Epicureans believed the universe was chaotic, for them, there was not a definitive path that led to happiness other than the avoidance of pain and sadness through the pursuit of pleasure.
Atheist Philosophy on Happiness
Modern thinkers, especially some Absurdists, theorized that the world is chaotic, irrational and absurd. There is not path to be followed, no higher instance to define your fate, you are responsible for finding your way to happiness here and now – you are the one who needs to find meaning to your life, as there's no pre-existent meaning.
Transcending the absurdity of the world, that is, understanding that the world is meaningless unless you invent a meaning to it, is a step towards happiness, according to Absurdists and some Existentialists. Since there are no Cosmic rules to be broken, you are free to do whatever you fancy, as long as you do not harm others. It is a common misconception to believe that atheist schools of thought do not have a reason to be moral – for them, morality derives from rationality not faith.
How to Help a Friend
Since there are no universal rules for happiness, when you need to give an advice to a person about how to improve his or her life, before you start talking, it's necessary to understand how this person sees the world. Does he or she believe there is a pre-existent path that leads to happiness, or is the world chaotic and meaningless? If you know this person's worldviews, then you will know how he or she will receive your advice.
It is a common mistake to try to change a person's ideology or principles so that they can believe what you believe, but this fails most of the times. If you tell a nun, who hardly ever thinks about her body, that she needs to look fit in order to feel happier, this advice will be meaningless for her, because her idea about happiness does not include her body. This argument, however, might work for a woman who has neglected her body because she needed to take care of her kids, even though beauty is important for her.
If you tell an atheist that he needs to detach from the material world in order to be happy, this will be meaningless for him – he only lives once, so why abstain from the worldly pleasures? Give this same advice for a person who believes in reincarnation, and remind him or her that material things will not accompany him or her in the next life. This will make a difference.
The Secret of Happiness
So, in order to help people find happiness, you need to give them an advice, which is in accordance with their beliefs and worldviews, not in accordance with your own beliefs. This is why "how to be happy formulas" will only work for a certain group of people – those who happen to agree with such premises.
According to some contemporary thinkers, this is also the reason why the therapies don't work for some people – if the assumptions that founded a certain psychological theory does not match the ideologies that pervade a person's life, then it is likely that the therapy will fail. The key for happiness then, is very well hidden inside each person's thoughts.
Sources:
- Packter, Lúcio. Clinical Philosophy: propedeutics.Garapuvu, 2001.
- Goya, Will. Listening and Silence: Lessons from Dialog in Clinical Philosophy. UCG, 2008.
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